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This is when I was getting ready for prom last week.
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I decided to take prom the least seriously, especially because it wasn't my prom.
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I should have dyed my hair leopard print, ya know, for the kids. They love that Beji Madden and those scene people.
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I was the only one not dressed like a whore that night.
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Gotta get ma ho lashes on.
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My fish, Morrissey.
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I named him Morrissey because he's a very effeminate man fish, and I'll never know for sure if he's gay or not.
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My fish, Prince AKA "The Fish Formally Known as Prince" AKA that fucking symbol.
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I wanted only purple rocks.
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Prince has a castle, son.
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My brother.
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Sabrina passed the fuck out.
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Johnny Friendly with porno card. That chick has a penis coming out of her thigh.
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Going to San Francisco.
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Porno cards from Vegas.
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I got distracted while painting my nails.
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I bleached ma hair.
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Fuck y'all.
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Going to Winter Formal.
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They should really call it Winter Back That Ass Up, because that shit isn't formal.
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Seriously there's a lot of teenagers that grind their ass as far as they can into dude's dicks.
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Who needs jewelry?
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How.
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I got my finger kicked back at Winter Formal while throwing boxes decorated like dice at cheerleaders. I'm NOT sorry hoes.
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I cut my hand open trying to open a bottle without a bottle opener.
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I thought if I hit the neck of the bottle it'd break and leave the body okay.
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I ended up ruining the party when I ran out of the building, broke the bottle, and came back in holding broken pieces together and telling everyone to drink from my hands quickly.
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People get upset when you run into a party holding glass and bleeding profusely everywhere.
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...and that's how I met Dracula.
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I was going to Nux Fest.
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I seem unsure about that.
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Laurie bought Lakers water. I felt just like Kobe, which is why I held Laurie down on raped her.
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Mad Dog Snow cone.
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Fish heads fish heads. Rollie pollie fish heads.
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Fish heads fish heads. Eat them up yum.
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They can't play baseball.
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They don't wear sweaters.
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They're now good dancers. They can't play drums.
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People put stickers on my face.
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I got safety goggles.
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Steve Martin ironing a kitten.
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This scary as fuck ska album I found in KCPR.
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Justin passed the fuck out in San Francisco.
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This chick looks like me a little.
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My eyes look fucked up.
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He's more like cubic zirconium Dave these days.
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KCPR, deal with it.
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Simon sitting on the curb like the bum he is.
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He's probably drunk too.
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I drew this for KCPR's zine.
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Shameless advertizing.
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My friend has a chicken named Choke A Bow.
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I love chickens!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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Chicken!
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My brother.
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San Francisco
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I think it means a whale gaping asshole, or vagina.
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This pole in San Francisco.
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My brother and me.
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Brenden and me with silly green pipe cleaner moustaches.
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Brenden AKA Viking Moses and Zack.
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My brother's hair.
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My brother again.
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Brenden and me.