What Hipsters Say, and What They Really Mean

You don't have issues, unless being a overbearing attention whore is considered "having issues". Take your tent lovin' ass and get out of your back yard. Stop taking pictures with mother fucking pine cones and shit, and stop putting them all over facebook. FUCK! That is dedicated to the hipster fucks in coffee shops and whatever other bitch is crawling through town. Get out of college radio assholes! You're music is boring...I mean, boring and useless to you is the equivalent of interesting cutting edge music that I don't have a trained ear for. Well fuck you, and FUCK JANDEK! FUCK JANDEK!!!!!!!!!! Fuck you all! I choose to not wear my glasses ever because I just want to be left alone by you people. I also can't shop at Good Will anymore because they caught on to you rich assholes shopping there and upped their prices. Where am I gonna get clothes now, fuck ass!? Thank you dickheads. I hate hipsters, they literally make being in college radio the most difficult shit ever. And I LOVE TV!

P.S. Stop calling in and requesting Animal Collective while I'm playing Bad Brains and D.O.A. They don't go together.